We had a lovely opportunity to ask Paloma aka Lolo one of the most confident and self-aware women we have ever met a few questions about self-love to better understand her experience and perspective on self-love. We also wanted to know how she uses self-love to have a better and more open relationship with herself.
Read the Question and Answer session below we had with her to know how she defines self-love for herself and leave a comment below and share your thoughts if you find value in this feature.
Tribal Fit: In your own words define self-love?
**Lolo:**💐 to have self-love you need to be self-aware. When you are aware of who you are. You set your personal values, standards and no one can dictate these to you. It’s a “me thing “ you have to be
Comfortable with your image and not others’ perceptions. Self-love is the ultimate this is who I am and when you have true self-love you know how you want to be loved and can show love without any reservations.
Tribal Fit: How much confidence do you think is in self-love?
Lolo: You definitely need to be confident to have self-love. Confidence and self are not mutually exclusive as they go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other. Confidence gives rise and more reason for self-love.
Tribal Fit: Do you think self-love is inherently connected with self-improvement?
Lolo: Yes in a sense. If you truly love yourself when you make improvements they don’t come from a place of low confidence it’s more like wow I can enhance my beauty. Self-improvement is not ways to fix they are ways to add onto the beautiful canvas you confidently know you have.
Tribal Fit: How do you know you love yourself?
Lolo: You know you love yourself when opinions don’t shake you. I have been bullied on the internet and I can say nothing gets to me because I love me. Loving yourself means you don’t need validation from anyone and you value every aspect of your being.
Tribal Fit: When did you start loving yourself?
Lolo: When I started getting bullied on the internet. This is when I was a blogger ... like maybe 10 years ago. I read so much about myself in the comments. When I was selling clothes, I realized I still needed to take pictures, and ignoring the comments was not enough. I had to believe that I was not all the things I read from ugly to fat ... I just had to love myself and keep posting.
Tribal Fit: What did it take for you to love yourself?
Lolo: Confidence, I have always been shy. I had to get to a stage in my life where I decided that my happiness and my image were not up for debate. Once I made a conscious decision to love me everything shifted and believe me ... as much as I still get silly comments it’s much better now because I guess the trolls realize I honestly don’t care.
Tribal Fit: How do you balance self-love and compromise?
**Lolo:**I don’t compromise. I don’t believe in that. What exactly am I compromising on. In self-love, I don’t believe you compromise on anything. You set your value and standards.
Tribal Fit: What keeps you consistent with your workout regime?
**Lolo:**My trainer ... the look on his face when you skip a session. I also have a team of girls at the gym, when I watch them on Instagram I get FOMO lol. I also like to look and be fit so I have to keep up with my training.
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Tribal Fit: How do you give back to yourself?
Lolo: Shopping lol , when I buy something expensive that I know I like ... it’s like a gift to self that accrues value.
Tribal Fit: How do you know you aren't in a toxic relationship love relationship with yourself?
Lolo: Honesty is key. When you operate from a place of authenticity and honesty you know that you are living according to your truth. When these factors are aligned your relationship with self is real and therefore things can never be toxic.
Tribal Fit: What are your goals in life?
Lolo: Happiness
Always being authentic
Purpose-led interactions/encounters/projects
My goals are quite personal and there are so many, but they are all guided by the above points.
Tribal Fit: What keeps you going?
Lolo: Money lol ... in a way for me that’s a driver. My family and my goals too.
**Tribal Fit:**Do you have a motto you live by?
**Lolo:**Not really weirdly ... I just really walk in faith and I am truly one of those people who really are grateful for every small blessing.
Tribal Fit: How did you get so confident?
Lolo: Being around mean people who tried to hurt me on the internet and in real life. You learn to not let anyone’s narrative define you, and you have to be confident in order to walk into rooms or stay online knowing that you are a target for silly comments.
Tribal Fit: How do you deal with disappointment?
Lolo: I cry ... I sleep and I regroup. I then pray and start to focus on gratitude.
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Tribal Fit: What is a disappointment to you?
Lolo: I’m a bit of a brat, it’s not getting what I want. I am learning now that NO is actually a word I need to accept lol.